2 Guys, 1 blog

2012-02-06T22:41:00.001+08:00

The list is in reverse order, going from enceinte to breathtaking.

10.
Galadriel: I give you the light of Eärendil, our most beloved star. May it be a light for you in dark places, when all other lights go out.

9.
Gandalf: A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.

8.
Galadriel: The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it

Gandalf: The battle of Helm’s Deep is over; the battle for Middle Earth is about to begin.

6.
Theoden: Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? They have passed like rain on the mountain, like wind in the meadow. The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow. How did it come to this?

5.
Aragorn: Hold your ground, hold your ground! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you *stand, Men of the West!*

4.
Arwen: From the ashes, a fire shall be woken. A light from the shadow shall spring. Renewed shall be blade that was broken. The crownless again shall be king.

3.
Gollum: The thieves. The thieves. The filthy little thieves. Where is it? Where is it? They stole it from us. My precious. Curse them. We hates them. It’s ours, it is, and we wants it.

2 .
Pippin: I didn’t think it would end this way.
Gandalf: End? No, the journey doesn’t end here. Death is just another path… One that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass… And then you see it. Pippin: What? Gandalf?… See what?
Gandalf: White shores… and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.
Pippin: Well, that isn’t so bad.
Gandalf: No… No it isn’t.

1.
Frodo: I can’t do this, Sam.
Sam: I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?
Sam: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo… and it’s worth fighting for.

2012-02-03T23:53:00.000+08:00

2012-02-03T17:24:00.001+08:00

Frodo: I can’t do this, Sam.
Sam: I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?
Sam: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo… and it’s worth fighting for.

2012-02-03T01:08:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I am inclined to believe that I’ve hit the limitations of my abilities, and by ‘hit’ I mean to say that I’ve crashed into the glass ceiling of potential at 500 km/h without so much as leaving a scratch on the glass. This may not be in a strictly academic sense, since, as we all know, there is an infinitely vast pool of talents and skills of which academia only makes up a small portion of; but as it is my life so far has been pretty much pivoted around the fixture of grades and qualifications thus making it both the motivation and bane of my existence. Like everyone else, I too lie awake in the dead of the night, staring into the blackness of room – looking inwardly first at the growing heap of failed attempts, followed by the weariness of defeat, and finally perniciously hovering above the borders of philosophical justification; sinking in a sort of twisted, logical excuse for personal flaws. I wonder why it is so much easier to take the blame for all that has gone wrong as opposed to blowing my trumpet and taking credit for all that has gone right. In fact, it’s difficult recalling anything at all from the latter.

Yet when I venture to think beyond academics, I am almost always in the danger of being subdued by melancholy. When I think about my background and all the experiences that have contributed to both the good and bad of my character, I am unsure whether I should fall over myself laughing at the absurdity of some events, or weep with a deep and sudden stab of desolation; knowing that I could never communicate the real effect of these experiences to even my closest companions, and realising that it wouldn’t make a difference to them or me even if I could. Bounded up with my desire for complete understanding is the contradicting need for complete secrecy; which probably explains why I am always compelled to spill weepy, long-winded confessions to trusted friends, but stop short of revealing the details of events and experiences that have actually mattered in the past 20 years and beyond. I used to think it was because some memories do hurt you quite a bit when you begin to speak about them with other people, but I’ve also realised that none of these things matter outside my life or mind, and the only reason I would speak about them is to indirectly attract some sort of undeserved sympathy that would excuse my failures.

Whatever I’ve just written may very well apply to anybody. I don’t dismiss the silent inner battles that are waged by every individual walking in the streets, neither do I underestimate nor overestimate them. I do not write to champion the cause of the downtrodden, the marginalised or the twenty-somethings who thought they’d be doing a bit more with their life than flicking through Facebook profiles while continually asking themselves what are they doing with their lives. I write all this because it is an instinct, and because I feel that there is no other medium in which I express myself better than in the written or typed word. As to whether I could eventually go on making a living out of doing something I feel comfortable doing, or whether I will keep on writing ’till the end of (my) time is something I ask myself from time to time, but for now I am simply compiling bits and parts of myself on this space.

2012-01-29T23:30:00.003+08:00

Didn't muster enough courage to tell you face-to-face, so the loser-me will say it here, hoping you'll read it.

"You look great, at least to me, you don't seem to carry the sad smile anymore.

Tomorrow's hopes and dreams will never die, as long as you believe in yourself. The kindness in your heart will guide you to accomplish many things in life as well as overcome all challenges and obstacles. Never give up, always have faith in yourself.

Whatever you may do in the future, never let anyone stand in the way of you pursuing your dreams. Know that you will always have family and friends to rely on, whenever you need them.

I wish you only the best as you continue to chase your dreams. ((: "

2012-01-23T16:44:00.000+08:00

"I have spied for you and lied for you, put myself in mortal danger for you. Everything was supposed to be to keep Lily Potter's son safe. Now you tell me you have been raising him like a pig for slaughter -- "

"But this is touching, Severus," said Dumbledore seriously. "Have you grown to care for the boy, after all?"
"For him?" shouted Snape. "Expecto Patronum!"

From the tip of his wand burst the silver doe. She landed on the office floor, bounded once across the office, and soared out of the window. Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears.

"After all this time?"

"Always" said Snape.

2012-01-02T13:30:00.002+08:00

Hey readers. Congratulations on making it to the end of 2011. You thought it was going to be difficult, and it was. More than you could ever imagine. You secretly wished it would have been awesome, and it was. It kicked awesomeness itself squarely in the butt. You told yourself it’d be different, and it was. But mostly due to forces out of your control. You now wonder how on earth 365 days have passed you by from the moment you woke up half-dazed (preferably in your own bed) on 01/01/2011. The earth spins on its axis, did its annual circular pilgrimage around the sun – that’s how.

I’m not going to do a retrospective post this year, because I don’t feel a need to justify 2011. There’s also the problem that I don’t really remember large chunks of the year. My life now seems segmented according to the academic calendar rather than an actual one, so much so that the start of 2012 seems to feel like any other day – another academic term. It’s hard looking back and properly analyzing a year when you feel as though you’re still very much in the midst of it.

But I will make resolutions, as is the norm every year – can’t remember what last year’s was but I found a scrap of paper recording what my resolutions were two years back and I’m pleased to say that some things on that list has finally been achieved this year. As for the rest of it (in addition to this year’s), I reckon another three years or so will suffice:

1) Grow up! - & i certainly did.

2) I will improve on my social skills and stop trailing off mid-sentence.

3) I will grow up. Maybe by one or two years - & i certainly didn't.

I will reflect upon all the mistakes I’ve made last year, try not to repeat them too many times thisyear, and just try to have a good time in general.

Hopefully you guys have some resolutions to live up to as well, even if it’s just having a resolution not to pay any attention whatsoever to the tradition of having resolutions.

Also, gratitude to everyone who has helped make the past year that much better my cheery and eccentric class of AMS P802, my good friends Hazirah, Syafiq, Wai Kit, Hadi whom without which i am not the person i am today.

Sincere apologies to everyone I’ve hurt, disappointed or picked on. In the process of being a ‘better’ person, I still trip and stumble quite a bit over everyone else. But I’ll get there eventually.

Happy New Year guys ((:

2011-11-24T01:39:00.001+08:00

Hihi I'm still alive..

2011-10-01T00:03:00.001+08:00

"when you look in her eyes and she's looking back in yours... everything... feels... not quite normal. Because you feel stronger and weaker at the same time. You feel excited and at the same time, terrified. The truth is... you don't know what you feel except you know what kind of man you want to be. It's as if you've reached the unreachable and you weren't ready for it."

Choices.

2011-09-04T11:26:00.001+08:00

Luck or Wealth?

Wisdom or Wealth?

Just a Dream

2011-08-27T15:36:00.001+08:00

Had a bout of weird dreams lately.

The most recent involves hanging out with a bunch of people who aren't my direct friends (friends of friends from Dunman Sec)

Weird, considering the fact that I added one of the friend of friend on Facebook just before I went to bed.

RE:

2011-08-26T19:42:00.001+08:00

“If the mind which governs the body, ever so long forgets itself as to step on its slave, the slave is never generous enough to forgive the wounding, but will raise and kill the oppressor.”

Freshman Week 1

2011-08-20T23:22:00.001+08:00

That was Week 1. Holy shit, I'm overwhelmed.

For The First Time, Again.

2011-08-14T13:14:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow's my first day of 4 years in my mission to graduate from university with a degree.

Feelings? nervous wreck.

Prepared? Not quite, how can someone be fully prepared?

Motivation? Haven't found my niche yet.

Generally? I miss my friends ):

This is Hellz

2011-08-11T00:44:00.001+08:00

Yep it is. When people say it’s gonna be easy and relaxing; they’re lying bitches.

Play along.

Gogogogogo!

2011-08-09T15:59:00.001+08:00

Yes, let's go. Bring it on, bitch.

{Un}Official First Day

2011-08-08T20:18:00.001+08:00

So i attended the very first class for my university journey. The term hasn't officially started yet, in fact. They call this enrichment classes, but hell I could use all the help I can get..

Yeayeayea

2011-08-08T20:16:00.001+08:00

So yea.

2011-06-25T09:04:00.003+08:00

Finished P.S. I Love You. Sad story. It's stories like these that makes us have too high an expectation towards matters concerning the heart.

2011-06-25T09:04:00.001+08:00

G: A fella just has to tell a woman the truth without words...it's like a signal you send out to the woman and she just picks it up.
H: And what's the truth?
G: that kissing her would be the end of life as I know it.
H: Well....and that's true of every girl you've gotten to kiss you?
G: I could turn it on and off when I was younger and had no principles...when every girl that I was lucky enough to kiss was the end of life as I knew it.
H: and now???
G: Now I only send it out when I think she might be the one that makes it true.

Out with the Old, In with the New

2011-06-18T23:59:00.001+08:00

Replace old feelings with new found ones? Sounds like a rebound. Bad bad bad..

Talk is cheap, Bring me around.

2011-06-13T16:33:00.001+08:00

I remember once someone told me it was good to think or talk to yourself, instead of constantly having someone to talk to.

I agree, but not to a great extent. There is a limit to how much you can talk to yourself. If you get comfortable talking to yourself, there will be problems, not least of which because you look crazy doing it. You exist in a world with everybody else and you need to know where you fit in, how you fit in.

Not forgetting the people in white who will come knocking with straitjackets.

2011-05-31T21:38:00.000+08:00

"The great moments of your life won't necessarily be the things you do, they'll also be the things that happen to you. Now, I'm not saying you can't take action to affect the outcome of your life, you have to take action, and you will. But never forget that on any day, you can step out the front door and your whole life can change forever. You see, the universe has a plan kids, and that plan is always in motion. A butterfly flaps its wings, and it starts to rain. It's a scary thought but it's also kind of wonderful. All these little parts of the machine constantly working, making sure that you end up exactly where you're supposed to be, exactly when you're supposed to be there. The right place at the right time."

Future Ted, How i Met Your Mother.

Credits to Hazirah for sharing :D

Fear

2011-05-31T16:46:00.001+08:00

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

What now?

2011-05-30T20:59:00.003+08:00

Yess,i'd expect that the letter would come one day. It had to. But i din't expect to feel this way. I'm lost for words,i cant explain myself. Suddenly i feel all vexed and worried. There's so much things running through my mind to the point that i just don't know what i want, which do i need to prioritize and whether im gonna make the right decision. Some part of me is scared,afraid, but not cos of NS, but rather the phase of life that im about to go through.

For a long time now,two choices have been playing on my mind,scdf or spf. I really dont know which to go for. And when you're in such a predicament, everyone tells you to ask and pray for guidance from God. Getting this letter, according to my mom is an answer itself from God. But is it really? I dont know.sigh.

I just want whats best for me,but at the same time something that benefits my family. Although id prioritize the latter than the former,im just hoping the move i make wont be a wrong wrong move for me. The only way to make myself feel better is repeating what my superior said earlier today. Theres no wrong decision, you choose to make the decision right or wrong. But but. . .

And oh yeah,fuck this ego. Im really afraid of losing you too. I just hope whatever i choose wont strain our relationship. Im just afraid,cant explain why.

On a Brighter Note!

2011-05-30T13:29:00.001+08:00

Yes! On a brighter note, I'll be starting my university education in August, subjected to appropriate approvals.

Maybe I'll take on a more social-heavy life in uni, join a glee club, start a band or run for a position in the student's union.

Or maybe I'll go back to being a geek, very much like how I were in polytechnic.

Action really speaks louder than words.

That aside, I'm also considering a graduation cum birthday present for myself. A new phone, perhaps. A MacBook perhaps. A Sony Vaio perhaps. A haircut at Thomas and Guy perhaps.

Another future mistake?

2011-05-30T13:22:00.001+08:00

Past me is telling future me not to repeat the mistake past me committed.

But this person is helping me, get over some past issues that's long overdue.

How? To foreclose or not?

2011-05-25T19:19:00.003+08:00

All right guys and girls, tomorrow's the day. The day some of us dread, some of us waited for and probably the most important day of our lives.

Graduation.

20, 21 or 22 years for us. A definite significant milestone of our lives. I'm no good with words, how about i quote some really good stuff instead?

Steve Jobs told us “Remembering you’re going to die, is the best way I know, to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

Arnold told us “You’re going to find naysayers in every turn that you make. Don’t listen. Just visualize your goal, know exactly where you want to go. Trust yourself. Get out there and work like hell. Break some of the rules and never ever be afraid of failure.”

For 3 years we've been buying and selling everything within our brains' capacity to pass the vassignments and projects. ctrl + c , ctrl + v were our favourite keys on the keyboard. We used cheatcodes such as adjhdfsd when it came to exams. The intellectual hustle.

Really, when I look back at it I wouldn’t change a thing.

" I mean it was so important to me to lose everything because I found out what the most important thing is – To be true to yourself. Ultimately that’s what’s gotten me to this place. I don’t live in fear, I’m free, I have no secrets, I know I’ll always be okay because no matter what, I know who I am" - Ellen

I wouldn't trade anything in the world for the experience that was gained throughout our 3 years together. It was a roller-coaster ride wasn't it? There were ups, downs and definitely the occasional loops and spirals. The P802 experience.

"When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our answers were things like astronaut, president, or in my case… princess.

When we were ten, they asked again and we answered - rock star, cowboy, or in my case, gold medalist. But now that we've grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how 'bout this: who the hell knows?!

This isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions, its time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere chill. Fall in love - a lot. Major in philosophy 'cause there's no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then change it again, because nothing is permanent.

So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be… we won't have to guess. We'll know."

Is this it for us?

I looked back through some of this blog's over the years and felt nostalgic. A longing for the past to return, but we all know that will never happen. I once told someone that I never really miss my close friends, because I know for certain that I'll be seeing them again. I know for certain that sometime in the foreseeable future, we'll get a chance to meet, hang out, and talk as if there wasn't a tomorrow. Even if they've flown off overseas. We WILL meet again. I won't badly miss my friends, true, but I sorely miss the times that we had together. 10, 15 years down the road, I will look back on all this and say "Oh man, those were the days." Cliché.

Well enough ranting from me. How about one last bang from all of us? How does each and everyone of us write a post for this blog, as one final goodbye present? It doesn't have to super chim English; you can quote lyrics, vlog a simple sentence or anything will do!

Lastly, I would like to offer my sincerest apology if i had hurt your feelings with my crazy Bruce Banner moments. I never meant anything mean i said. But if it was compliments, i mean it to the deepest depths of my heart. <3

Thank you P802, Hot guys and Cute girls. :D 8-)

What if

2011-05-20T00:04:00.002+08:00

Imagine this world, this life, with everyone putting on a mascot 24/7. No one knows how or what the other person he/she interacts with looks like. Pretty, ugly, handsome, hot, fat, thin etc. Question marks. The only thing that can be known is the person's character, whether he/she is has an angel's heart. Oh the world would be such an innocent, pure and pleasant place. If all humans had known was to just look at a person's heart, and not their looks.

Relationships 101

2011-05-18T19:28:00.001+08:00

A relationship involves a massive amount of adjustments and sacrifices. These adjustments and sacrifices however, should be equally divided between the couple. A couple, who are so much in love, committed and completely honest about their feelings for each other, will surpass any obstacle that may threaten to ruin their relationship. A single suspicion will break the bond you have for each other and it is a beginning of the end if you start to suspect your partner at any point of your long distance relationship.

Interesting literature from the blog of a friend, who is in a relationship, of course.

Past and Future Me.

2011-05-18T00:45:00.001+08:00

More about this soon.

Of Education.

2011-05-18T00:44:00.001+08:00

Education vs Experience. Much debate, much controversy.

We all know what the current trend is. So do you follow the trend or do you stick by your own beliefs?

Uncertainty

2011-05-16T07:21:00.002+08:00

Its a strange strange morning. Im supposed to be really exhausted and all, but im not. My thoughts are really scaring me to a certain extent that makes me not tired. Its all kind of things blend into one - the question marks in my head, the uncertainties of the future, the yet to be discovered answers and the many things to do and achieve in life. Please be strong dear soul.

Hmmmmmm

2011-05-12T15:32:00.000+08:00

A little Sidetracked

2011-05-11T09:49:00.001+08:00

Wow..your hair..is great...oh my gosh... Wonder who the future lucky guy will be.. ):

Cos i wanna tell the world about her (:

2011-05-10T23:07:00.004+08:00

The girl that changed me for the better. I couldn't ask for more. You see things in me that i was never able to see in myself for the past 19 years. You taught me the real meaning of life, about counting my blessings, about loving myself, about loving life in general and you taught me to never ever stop being grateful. All this, without really telling me, but by showing me with how you go about your daily routines. Life is so much better with you by my side. You really got no idea how thankful i am for you. Put it simply, you are the best thing that had happened to me in a really really long while. I love you sayang! I really do! :D

Come back and haunt me (:

2011-05-07T02:31:00.002+08:00

230am. I'm still pretty much awake. Weird,considering the fact that i always get sleepy way before you do during our routine late night webcam-ing sessions. Haha gosh you are super cute la dear, i wonder how i can be angry with you for long. Fact is i cant. Remember the time when everyone was telling me, and i was telling you that one day, our honeymoon period will cool down and slowly vanish? I dont know which stage we are at now, but surely i still feel very much excited to meet you as i was when we met for the first time. Im typing all these while smiling to myself. Gawd, you've really grown onto me, or is it vice versa? lol. And and, awwwwww, my first time seeing you doze off in front of the lappy. Cant stop smiling. You are super adorable kay syg. You really are.

Ps: I'm missing you even when im high and feeling positive. Hows that? Special girl you are. I love you! :D

I'm sorry

2011-05-06T15:12:00.002+08:00

Its those nights that i hate,that i pretty much fear. I doubt almost everything when im stuck in that situation. Trust,faith,self-belief and anything else. Its weird how just moments before those,i can be feeling all good and great about myself. But all this to vanish and disappear within seconds upon lying on my bed. And the irony of it all is that these silent self-torturing moments comes just before i fall asleep. So much for saying sleep is one of the peaceful things in life that most people enjoy. So much for self declaring that sleep is my greatest remedy to any pain. And so much for self-reflection.

If you are ever wondering what im talking about, yes sometimes i think about you, and that leads to us. When im undergoing one of my self-reflection nights,i really think you deserve someone better than me. Like seriously,there are dozens of guys out there,much better than i am,much kinder than i am,and much sincere than i am if you'd like. Gahh its hard for me to say that. Cos i am afraid of what the future holds, nothing is certain. And im more afraid of losing you. But no worries,i'll hold on stronger than ever,cos i know what i want. And that is to be with you.

The Bro to the Bromance :D

2011-04-22T14:17:00.004+08:00

In an episode of Scrubs, the show’s two main characters, J.D. and Turk, broke into a musical duet proclaiming their 'mutual affection'. "Guy love. That’s all it is,” the song goes. "Guy love, he’s mine, I’m his. There’s nothing gay about it in our eyes."

From Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid to Good Will Hunting, popular culture is filled with examples of straight guy love. The sitcom "Friends” often crafted jokes around Joey and Chandler’s relationship, and in "Wedding Crashers,” Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson seemed to have something more like a tortured love affair than a friendship.

So you're probably wondering what's my point here. The whole point is - It's my good friend/bro/bro friend/bestie/bff/boo's birthday today. 22nd April, annually :D

As my dedication of affection for our heartfelt relationship, I'm gonna blog about our first conversation ever.

It was a warm humid day, & it was also the 2nd day of orientation. We were asked to volunteer as free labour. I went along with Hadi. I introduced myself, and naturally, i spoke in Malay. Hadi, being his nonchalant self remarked "Eh, ko Melayu eh?" And it went on and on with my explanation. Hadi then nudged the person next to him, "Eh Fiq, budak ni Cina tapi paham Melayu ah!" The rest was history.

Throughout semester 1.1 of poly, i admit, we weren't too close. It was a hi-bye relationship and the occasional introduction of new songs to each other. Yes i admit, i did stalk your blog on a daily basis, (hehe). I was pleasured when you changed your blog song to Gifts and Curses by Yellowcard.

But when "BLOG DOES NOT EXIST" started to appear when i search up your blog, a part of me died (ok, exaggeration)

We started to be sms/msn buddies during 1.2, when you approach me and enquired about my Friendster profile. You asked me about Sue Ann, and who Emo Crap is (We're currently co-owners of our twitter account). It came and went, then Aisyah came into our conversations. From daily smses and offline msn chats, our relationship developed. Slow, but it was sure. (: The low point was when you told me Aisyah is like....lost feeling. I WAS FREAKING ANGRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYY. Haha, i recall scolding and demanding that you apologize to her for hurting her feelings (: Thank you for listening to me then.

Sem 2.1 came. It was the semester of music, laughter, heartbreaks, hopes dashed and basically; life experience.

Sem 2.1 and still i can’t forget her
Been counting on, it’s been more than a year oh no
Chasing her around but my soul’s breaking down
My heart’s crying out

That verse from the highly popular P802 love song basically sums up our Semester 2.1

New love interests came about. We talked about it on a daily basis. (shall not mention the love interest since its pretty much obvious if you follow us like a religion)

We both took big risks and steps to pursue what we wanted. There were ups and downs; but i am so very gladly to say that we went through that tough period together. God knows that i would have done without a listening ear for me to rant on and on about my obsessions, desires and crazy plans.

2.1 came and went. 2.2 came.

Time’s running out
It’s nearly over,
Friends say dude go on and tell her, but no
When will i have the guts to go, a step further

2.2 was basically a repeat of 2.1, except it was much much much better emotionally and mentally. From the very first facebook message (which she took 1 week to reply!) to the draught of no contact with her for a few weeks. ): good memories :D

3.1 Internship time. When i saw that you were with Air Asia with the rest of the guys, i was happy, cause you'd be all right in the group. When i saw that i was partnered with the boy-genius of the course; i thought (oookkk....)

Final list came out, and turns out we were together in Air Asia, and best of all, same MP group. Imba to the maxxx. Our MP results were awesome. Contrary to what others might say of our group (too many people, not fair, uneven, too much time during MP presentation and whatever other bullshit crap they came up with) we came out strong and aced the damn thing. :D another plus up

When 3.2 came, it was a very very good and happy semester. When i found out that you are together with Diyana, naturally our friendship will slow down. But i kept in mind to never repeat the mistake i committed against ____. Incaseyou must know, that was my most regretted decision. Poor judgement left my good friend alone when he needed me the most. ): no amount of sorries would ever make up for my mistake.

Now, we're on the brink of graduation.

A very Happy Birthday to you, good friend/friend/bro/bro friend/bestie/bff/boo :D

The More to the Want

2011-04-22T00:14:00.001+08:00

Syafiq once told me, that the more you want that something, the bigger your obsession for that something will be. Like a chain reaction, if you achieve that something, you'll do all that's possible to keep it. But if you fail to achieve that something, chances are, you'll feel depressed, useless and basically a failure.

Right now, I'm both excited and nervous. Probably the whole of the country wants this. I'm one of them who was shortlisted.

I'll do my best. Give it my all. No regrets.

So, you still think so?

2011-04-19T01:12:00.002+08:00

When a guy and girl become close friends, people say it's usually a matter of time before one of them falls for the other. Sometimes, the timing is not right, and the friendship is ruined. Sometimes, the timing works out, but the relationship doesn't, and the friendship is ruined anyway. Sometimes, the timing is not right, but the friendship survives, and actually grows stronger as a result. And sometimes, the relationship works out, and they live happily ever after. Vicious cycles. I hate vicious cycles as much as i hate waking up after 8am, or spicy food or allergies.

Now, I am not saying that this is true of all cases. It probably isn't. Overgeneralization is a nasty mistake to make.

But for a case I know, this little nugget of wisdom rang true.

They started out as friends. Then they started texting each other on a regular basis. They grew closer. Secrets were exchanged, and in the process, an implicit bond of trust was formed. Time passed. Troubles came and went. They helped each other weather some storms, sharing advice and experiences. As they grew to know more and more about each other, their bond deepened. At that moment, their paths were intertwined like the threads in a cloth. (plays Secret Valentine as background music)

Then, things changed rapidly. He fell for her. Storms, the most dangerous yet, began to brew. A few tumultuous weeks pass. He ultimately fails. Although outwardly fine, he is badly broken up inside. He agrees to continue being friends, but he is struggling. Oversensitive, and with his thoughts and emotions spiralling out of control, he is forced to make a move that no one should ever have to make. (plays Your Call as background music)

His feelings for her are affecting the friendship. It is getting difficult to talk to her. He begins to lose his nerve around her. Jabbering nervously to her friends, but not to her. He's afraid of talking to her. He begins to think too much, blowing little things out of proportion. He begins to suspect that she is avoiding him, even though she says she isn't avoiding him. (plays Broken as background music)

Hoping that distance will ease the situation, he puts a plan into action. He will take a break, and stop communication with her for a period of time. He avoids having lunch with her, and stops looking around for her in his free time. He buries himself in work. There are assignments and projects to be done. He works till late at night, falling into bed exhausted, with no time to think. He misses texting her and chatting with her, but does not give himself time to dwell on it. Healing is a long and painstaking process. (plays Forget You as background music)

After some time, some progress is made. He no longer gets twinges everytime he sees her face. The feelings are very much still there, but the intensity is slowly decreasing. It'll take time, but by the end, he hopes that they will be able to go back to what it was before. The rain clouds may still hang overhead, but I think that you find that the most breathtaking sunrises usually occur after a great storm in the night. There is hope for the future.

So, you still think so?

2011-04-18T11:38:00.002+08:00

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer,
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there’s the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover’d country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.

If my life was a play and I could only deliver a single soliloquy, this would be it. So much for originality. Mind you, i love Shakespeare as much as i love strawberry-flavored milk tea, or Jar Jar Binks, Homer Simpson and TLC on cabel.

I find these words strangely comforting whenever under pressure or confronted with an insurmountable challenge (as I am now). Thought I’d share this with anyone who might be in a similar situation. You might say; what the hell is this kid thinking? Trying to be an angmoh by referencing some angmoh play written by some angmoh.

Just thought i'd share this little piece of Hamlet to you loyal '2 Guys 1 Blog-ies'. Yes, '2 Guys 1 Blog-ies', interesting name for a following (:

If it be not now, yet it will come. The readiness is all. Since no man knows aught of what he leaves, what is’t to leave betimes?

Let be.

Every Memory of Looking out the Back Door

2011-04-17T16:27:00.002+08:00

Notwithstanding the previous posts, it has seriously been some time since I last clocked in time with my blog. Nothing has changed, the links mainly still work (there are a few broken links which I'll need to replace or update), the CBox spammers are still going at it, the blog's owners' pictures are thoughtful as ever, and so on and so forth.

I looked back through some of my posts over the months, and felt nostalgic. A longing for the past to return, but we all know that will never happen. I once told someone that I never really miss my close friends, because I know for certain that I'll be seeing them again. I know for certain that sometime in the foreseeable future, we'll get a chance to meet, hang out, and talk as if there wasn't a tomorrow. Even if they've flown off overseas. We WILL meet again. I won't badly miss my friends, true, but I sorely miss the times that we had together. 10 years down the road, I will look back on all this and say "Oh man, those were the days." Cliché.

You do realize that once the time is gone, it's gone forever? Every single time you see someone, you'll never see that someone under the exact same circumstances, situation and setting again. That's the chaos of life at work. Events can never be replicated perfectly. Once experienced, an event will only live on through your memory, never to be experienced again.

I do not deny that there would be more memories, more epic events to be remembered and cherished. As we grow older, we do stupid things less and less. But when we DO do something stupid, it gets more and more epic. Most of my best memories came from bad ideas.

As I read back through this blog, I felt old. I know this is ridiculous, seeing as I've only been through barely 25% of the upper end of the average human lifespan. In almost 21 years, the things I've seen, the feelings I've felt, and experiences I've had are legion. None of it would be interesting to a stranger, but to me, they are who I am. My identity is composed of experiences, thoughts and feelings after all. In a way, this also gives me hope for the future. If in 20 years I could have amassed such a multitude of memories, imagine what it'll be like 10, 20, or 30 years in the future. I'll be more than twice as old by then, with perhaps more than twice the amount of memories. I'll be looking forward to it. :D

2011-04-14T15:52:00.002+08:00

Everytime i sign in,i forgot what i wanted to post.bleagh =X

ps: when we no longer talk or meet with each other,doesnt mean i forget you.the special people in my life,will always be the same special people till i die. (:

2011-04-12T14:59:00.001+08:00

Some of us get dipped in flat, some in satin, some in gloss...

Pity envious

2011-04-11T11:05:00.001+08:00

Bleh, self-pity us destructive.

Steppes

2011-04-09T12:25:00.001+08:00

27. When someone remembers the things you said.

2011-04-08T15:19:00.000+08:00

SHREK: For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think.
DONKEY: Example?

SHREK: Example? Okay. Uh... ogres are like onions.

DONKEY: They stink?

SHREK: Yes. No!

DONKEY: Oh, they make you cry?

SHREK: No!

DONKEY: Oh, you leave them out in the sun, they get all brown and start sprouting little white hairs.

SHREK: No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.

DONKEY: Oh... you both have layers... You know, not everybody like onions. Cakes! Everybody likes cakes. Cakes have layers.

SHREK: I don't care what everyone likes. Ogres are not like cakes... You dunce, irritating, miniature beast of burden. Ogres are like onions. End of story. Bye bye. See ya later...

2011-04-08T15:02:00.001+08:00

I wonder do you still wonder what's written on the paper 2 years back? The crumpled ball of a paper, which was hidden in my jacket.

The 'Feel' to the 'Numb'

2011-04-03T10:22:00.001+08:00

I can see where you are
I can tell you're enjoying it so far
I would love to escape, but now I'm bound
By the of burn of your eyes
Looking on as I'm starting to realize
I'm a pawn in your game and this is checkmate

As the roses lift their heads to catch a glimpse of my demise
You'll be throwing lies around like ocean waves throw down the tides
And they are breaking on my shore
And the rescue team won't save me now I'm out too far

So I'll waste these nights for a while
But I'll be holding onto you forever
And this is where my heart is cold and torn
As I read the words you wrote last night
The butterflies are creeping through my spine

It's a thrill I can't shake
Yeah I know we've been writing a mistake
But it's hard to erase the feelings I've drawn
I was caught in an awkward silence
Broken down by the sound of your prelude that you played
To open our symphony
I've been sleeping with the sunrise watching hours pass away
Incidentally I'm just waiting for the dusk to kill the day
But now I'm waiting for your call
While I bang on this piano like you care at all

So I'll waste these nights for a while
But I'll be holding onto you forever
And this is where my heart is cold and torn
As I hear the words you're saying tonight
I'm falling for them every single time

As the roses dip their heads a little further to the ground
There's a season change and all the pinks and whites have turned to brown
Will we make it through the fall
Yeah are we gonna make it through this fall
'Cause I don't wanna fall with you

So I'll wastes these nights for a while
(I'm trying)
But I'll be holding on to you forever
(We're dying, yeahhh)
And this is where my heart is cold and torn
I'm taken by your hope-filled lines
They're well designed and dragging me along
I'll be waiting for this chance and I'll be gone

Sometimes you might feel like giving it all up, and feel just so tired of everything. But that's just the moment's folly, for Life is like a candle, you have to let it melt completely for it never should be in our hands whether we wanna blow it out or not.

Left side brain.

2011-04-02T15:57:00.001+08:00

Well, I guess it's the Waiting and anticipation now..

Day 11

2011-03-29T16:46:00.002+08:00

Finally,tomorrow's the day ive been looking forward to for the past days.You're coming back!yay!:D On the other hand though,theres my napfa to look forward to.Whatever happens(though i know roughly what the result would be lol), i know that ive given my all in training for my pull-ups in that short space of time available.Even if i fail tmr,ill come back a 2nd time and try for SCDF again.

Ahhh tomorrow's schedule is pretty hectic.Good thing,cos before long,night time would have already crept in,and thats the part of the day ill be most looking forward to.28 hours to go!I miss you dear! (:

Day 10

2011-03-28T20:03:00.008+08:00

There was so much that i wanted to rant about just now.But waking up from my slumber,every inch of cranky-ness/moody-ness or whatever-ness vanished just like that.I guess sleep is really the best remedy.It heals the body both physically and mentally.

If you happen to read this dear,i'll start off by saying im sorry.I dont know the reason why both of us reacted that way,the sudden change in emotion/atmosphere was crazy.Yeah tell me about it.But i guess it had to do with a lost of translation in whatever we were trying to convey to each other.You should know what im talking about la kan,the skype keeps disconnecting,whenever one of us talks the other person cant hear clearly etc etc.And also,we cant really tell whatever is on each other's mind cos,well simply we are communicating through words and not face to face.Add all that to the simple fact that i've missed you for the past 9 days or so,you paham paham je la eh as to why i reacted such.Tapi ending the convo just now was the best thing to do,otherwise i'd probably have exploded.hmmmm i guess today was all about me reflecting about what happened tadi.

Ps: Its crazy how when im fuming mad at you,i still think about you and miss you.Just know that whatever it is,my feelings for you never change.Like i saw somewhere on twitter,when your ego and pride is secondary to you,you know that person is important.I don't know about you dear,tapi for me,ive really learned to swallow both my ego and pride when im with you.I guess that says much,cos ive never been able to do that around my friends.So just you know,I love you dear!

Day 9

2011-03-27T17:37:00.002+08:00

Forced to wake up at 9 plus in the morning today.Cos my grandma wanted to visit the doc to get an injection.Pagi pagi je,i'm already reminded of you when my grandma talked and talked and talked during our journey to ang mo kio (her doctor's place).lol i miss you la sayang.I miss webcaming with you when you're at home,with nenek pagesti always interrupting in between.I miss your macam paham replies to her,most of them macam nak tak nak gitu.lol.Gahhh,if ever "i miss you" can be interpreted in many other ways,i'd do it.Sometimes mesti you annoyed right,that i keep repeating these 3 words like almost everytime.Can't help it dear,i really can't control my feelings.And when we webcam at night,i sigh alot.You should know why ady right?If you could translate that into words,thats another "i miss you".I really do.Take care sayang,a few more days kay.Be sure to eat properly tau.Heart you dearest! :D

Day 8

2011-03-26T21:11:00.002+08:00

Hmmm i was keying in the title for this post and you know what?It struck me that you are actually away for 12 days dear,not 11.Epic fail,both of us.Haha ya thats something to laugh about isnt it?Gosh dua kali lima betol la kan,both pon macam paham.Ya ya if you're reading this go ahead and count back the day since last sat.

On a brighter note though,yess i still miss you like mad if you're wondering.But today's rindu was a 'positive' kind of rindu,not like the past few days.I don't really know how to explain it dear,but yeah today i din't emo though i kept thinking of you almost everytime.And you know what?You are fast becoming my motivation in life.Aside from my family that is (: I push myself nowadays more than i've ever done in the last 6 months.Back then i just seem to fade away into the moments,just getting by everything that i was given by the scruff of the neck?Ibarat kan macam org2 tua cakap,cukup cukup makan la kan.But you changed me dear,and i don't know how you did it,and i dont really care actually.lol.I love you sayang! :D Just felt like saying it today!Love you many many tau!You really have no idea.lol.Ahhh i feeel so blessed! ;)

On the other hand though,my pull ups are not really going well for me.2 more days and im not really hitting the minimum figure i need to pass.Gosh,blisters on my hands are painful,not that i care.What im trying to say is,God i really need to get through this.I really need to get this done.This full time job,i need it more for my family than for myself.Please Allah,i beg you,just this once.But like always,you know whats best.I'll just give it my best and if i still can't get into Scdf,well maybe then thats Your way of telling me there's something out there better for me. (:

Day 7

2011-03-25T19:28:00.002+08:00

It seems to get much worse by the day.At times of the day,i just dont know what to do,and thats the problem see.Cos when im free,i think about you.I'm not saying its not good,but it's sapping my life away bit by bit.And theres still 5 days more for me to hold out for :(

It's maghrib and i just woke up.I guess you know too kan that I'm always sleeping.Sometimes i'm really really tired,but other times,its just to prevent me from getting all emotional from missing you.And sayang,if im annoying tell me kay.I just feel that i'm such a busybody and i keep poking into things i shouldnt.Like who the f do i think i am,setting restrictions and all for you when i shouldnt,yet i still do it.

Not a good day at all.I dreamt about you again just now.In my dream,i was hugging you so tightly and both of us were smiling as we looked into a mirror.I'm not right now,i can tell you that.My heart feels very heavy.Those webcams every night,it helps a tiny weeny bit to give me a bit of strength when i see you,but trust me,at times when im smiling to you,my hearts not.I miss you and i cant help feeling that way.Gosh,see what i mean dear,im being such an irritant kan.Always complaining.sigh.I'm sorry.

Day 6

2011-03-24T22:54:00.002+08:00

So,the interview was an odd one.i din't do badly for sure,in fact i think i did quite well.but he noticed that one column where my Napfa indicated a "Fail".that means im neither here or there,he said he wasnt gonna reject me(i hope he keep his words) nor was he gonna accept me.just gonna KIV my name and hopefully,if i do manage to get my Napfa done before the 2nd interview starts,ill still have a chance.so date due: 30th march 2011.i know for sure there's one reason im looking forward to that day.now it depends on myself to give me another reason to look forward to that day.and dear,if you're reading this,i stared at your picture in my phone throughout the session to calm myself down.and your text,i read it again and again.thanks sayang!imy imy imy too!

Typing all these whilst listening to "Leave out all the rest" by Linkin Park.awesome song,awesome lyrics.so, what are we leaving when we're done here?

And and how can i ever forget,6 days gone,another 6 to go.you're missed sorely dear.i miss everything about you.

Day 5

2011-03-23T21:51:00.003+08:00

Depict it this way,anyone would want to be in the company of their loved ones 24 seven.but we all know its not possible.some parts of the days are spent sleeping,slacking eating whatever.but its when you have something important,thats when you feel the need to be around the people you love.anyway,i havent said this for awhile now,but yeah these past few days have been awesome.i feel so blessed.i really ought to start showing my appreciation to God.seriously,ive fallen by the wayside for far too long now.God i beg you to guide me through.

Interviews tmr,but dearest is in vietnam.its always one or the other,you cant have everything all at once i guess.otherwise humans will become greedy.lol.imy dear.5 days down,6 days more to go. ;)

Many, Much, Lots.

2011-03-22T14:46:00.001+08:00

Lots to say, but some things are best left unsaid. Let bygones be bygones.

Day 4

2011-03-22T13:01:00.003+08:00

Yeah,its the fourth day,but its starting to feel like its the 1st day all over again.suddenly,just suddenly,i miss you badly.yesterday when i got the good news,you were one of the few people i wanted to tell immediately.and and oh,i got my bursary.thats another thing to be thankful for.

For awhile right,i was thinking if typing these entries are the right thing to do.i think im being too selfish right.i really want you to enjoy yourself over there,but i really shouldnt be telling you im missing you like every sec/min/hour right?i dunno,ill try to keep it to myself kay dear.have fun at the reception/administration counter sayang! (:

ps: you shld really try injecting ppl.should be fun.heh ;)

Day 2

2011-03-20T18:20:00.002+08:00

I woke up super late today.and it was on purpose.half the day flew away just like that.lol my concept of "time pass faster when you sleep" is seriously being applied wrongly here.anyhow,i woke up to a text message from who else but you :D awwww couldnt be happier reading your text msg.i miss you too darling! (: seeing your text and all,i think you're having lots of fun there.good for you!(:

ps: i hugged my pillow super tightly in my sleep last night,how i wished it was you instead.lol.imy sayang! <3

2011-03-19T19:15:00.002+08:00

This song reminds me of 2 people. Syafiq and Diyana. I'm bad at words, so i shan't elaborate about both of them. Especially one of them (you should know who, hehe). I would cry. :) this song is for the both of you.

How do I get through one night without you?
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be?

Oh, I, I need you in my arms, need you to hold
You're my world, my heart, my soul and if you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything good in my life
And tell me now

How do I live without you? I want to know
How do I breathe without you if you ever go?
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh, how do I live?

Without you there'd be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There'd be no world left for me

And I, baby, I don't know what I would do
I'd be lost if I lost you, if you ever leave
Baby, you would take away everything real in my life
And tell me now

How do I live without you? I want to know
How do I breathe without you if you ever go?
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh, how do I live?

Please, tell me, baby
How do I go on if you ever leave?
Baby, you would take away everything, I need you with me
Baby, don't you know that you're everything good in my life?
And tell me now

How do I live without you? I want to know
How do I breathe without you if you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh, how do I live?

How do I live without you?
How do I live without you, baby?
How do I live?

Day 1

2011-03-19T12:03:00.002+08:00

Wasnt easy to meet you under the circumstances.ive told you before,i wished our parents knew about us.that'd make things a whole lot easier.and i saw your mom and dad today.your dad,he was really sad.i could tell.and i saw the 3 girls too! :D anyway,you should be boarding now.have fun while in vietnam sayang.ill be the first to be at the airport waiting for you 11 days from now! (:

2011-03-13T17:40:00.002+08:00

So its day 1 of your batam trip.and looking at things now,i am seriously not sure how im gonna get through the 11 days of you being away in vietnam.but yeah those days will come inevitably.anyway,yesterday night you told me if i missed you i should look at our pics.ahhh yesyes,but unfortunately we have too little pictures of us.so the next logical thing to do,was to browse through your pictures.how wrong was your advice.i missed you more after looking at all your pictures :( lets fast forward time a lil quicker to tuesday please.and then slow down the time till friday.gosh,saturdays gonna be a killer.

ps: im only gonna grow on from here.for God,for my family,for my friends,for you and lastly for myself. (i thank God every single day for letting our paths cross each other.its an unspoken prayer,24 seven.)

Thats the difference.

2011-03-09T21:28:00.002+08:00

Im willing to put you before everything else.but i dont think the same can be said of you.hmmm maybe what you're doing is the right thing all along.maybe i'm getting my priorities all wrong,cos uh well its still relatively early.i dunno,im speechless.if its truly right that i am the one on the wrong road,someone enlighten me.rob where are you?i need someone to talk to. :-(

This for you couples out there. Celebrate Love!

2011-03-07T09:11:00.001+08:00

1-Touch her waist. 
2-Talk to her. 
3-Share secrets. 
4-Give her your jacket.
 5-Kiss her slowly.

Are you remembering this?

6-Hug her. 
7-Hold her. 
8-Laugh with her. 
9-Invite her somewhere. 
10-Let her be with you when you're with your friends.

Keep reading...

11-Smile with her. 
12-Take pics with her. 
13-Pull her onto your lap. 
14-When she says she loves you more, deny it. fight back. 
15-When her friends say i love her more than you, deny it; fight back and hug her tight so she can't get to her friends. It makes her feel loved.

Are you thinking about someone?

16-Always hug her and say, "I love you," whenever you see her. 
17-Kiss her unexpectedly 
18-HUG HER FROM BEHIND AROUND THE WAIST
 19-Tell her shes beautiful- NOT SEXY! She wants to feel pretty- not skanky 
20-Tell her the way you feel about her!

Oh, and on that last one... you need to show her you mean it too.

21-Open doors for her, walk her to her car- it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman. 
22-Tell her she means everything to you, but MEAN IT.
 23-If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her- if she denies something being wrong, it means she doesn't want to talk about it, so just hug her.
 24-Make her feel loved.
 25-Kiss her in front of other girls you know.

We might deny it but we actually LIKE it and WANT you to tickle us- we love to flirt ;P

26-Don't lie to her. 
27-Dont cheat on her. 
28-Take her anywhere she wants. 
29-Txt messege or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school, and how much you miss her. 
30-Be there for her whenever she needs you, and even when she doesn't need you, just be there so she'll know that she can always count on you.

Are you still reading this? You better be- it's important.

31. Hold her close when she's cold so she can hold you too.
 32. When you are alone, hold her close and kiss her. 
33. Kiss her on the cheek (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her). 
34. While in the movie, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly. 
35. Dont ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If she's upset, comfort her.

Remember this next time you are with her...

36. When people diss her, stand up for her. 
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her. 
38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, Link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you. 
39. When walking next to each other grab her hand. 
40. When you hug her hold her in your arms as long as possible.

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHE'S LOVED

41. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams. 
42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears. 
43. Take her for long walks at night. 
44. Always remind her how much you love her.

You'll never know when she needs just a little more love.

Love

2011-03-05T13:37:00.001+08:00

Love isn't complicated. It's the people involved that makes it complicated. All the phony talk about mind vs soul. It's just pure ego.

Past, Future and Present

2011-03-04T12:35:00.001+08:00

And life is a road that I want to keep going
Love is a river, I want to keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

I hope you're going the right way with things. What's contenting was that you made the decisions based on what you want, but there are certain things in the future we are not sure off.

It's not like we can apply the Future Value formulae to our lives. We shouldn't take into account CERTAIN current events as a factor to our future plans.

I'm just providing an opinion.

I Told Her

2011-03-04T12:19:00.001+08:00

I've told her. But she laughed and went away.

Tsk* girls.

The Police Interview

2011-03-03T09:23:00.001+08:00

The interview is usually the first opportunity an agency has to meet you. Therefore, you want to make a good impression. Your goal is to convince them that you possess the qualities of a good police officer. Before you even enter the interview room, there are several things you will want to consider in preparation for the interview.

Preparing For The Interview

When applying for a law enforcement position there are usually several forms you have to complete. You will be required to mail some of these forms back to the agency. Other forms may be collected during the interview. Prior to the interview make sure you have accurately completed all of the paperwork. The interviewers will be reviewing the information you have listed. If there are uncompleted portions or you are missing certain forms, this makes you look bad. It may also disqualify you from proceeding any further in the application process. It looks better if you type all of the information. However, neatly printing with a pen is usually acceptable. Remember, the forms you have completed are a reflection of you. It gives the interviewers a little insight into your organizational abilities.

In the days prior to the interview you should review the questions you believe you will be asked as well as your answers to those questions. The Boy Scouts motto of being prepared is very applicable. You do not want to go into the interview winging it. Everyone has a certain degree of nervousness when sitting in front of an interview panel. You want to look your best and sound your best. Avoid becoming tongue-tied by rehearsing your answers.

Looking Your Best

It is a given that most interviewers will expect a man to wear a suit and tie, and a woman to wear a dress or a business suit to the interview. Most of the time, an interviewing panel is prohibited from disqualifying an applicant based on what he or she is wearing. However, if you walk into an interview wearing a pair of blue jeans and a tee shirt, they will find some other reason to write you out. You may look good wearing nice casual slacks, but you will look even better to the panel if you wear business attire. You want to project a professional image. As you enter the interviewing room, greet everyone with a firm handshake. Look them in the eyes and smile as you greet them. Remember, you are applying for a law enforcement position. This is a field in which you have to deal with people. You want to show the panel that you are a confident person. Giving someone a weak handshake while looking away is a signal that this occupation is not for you.

The Interview

Your interview will be approximately 30 to 60 minutes in length. You will be questioned by a panel of three to five people. They will probably be seated on one side of a table. On the other side of the table will be your chair. If your chair is in close proximity to the table, you will be sitting at the table with the panel. In most cases, your chair will be approximately six to ten feet away from the table. In this set up, the interviewers want you to sit a short distance away from them. This allows them to see your entire body and observe your mannerism. This also prevents you from seeing any notes they may take.

You should answer all of the questions truthfully. If you pass the interview, they will conduct a background investigation. If during their investigation, they discover that you were less than truthful about the smallest of things, you will be disqualified. You are applying for a position in which you have to uphold the law. Therefore, they are looking for integrity.

Most people are a little nervous during a job interview. This is a normal response. To help you relax, pause before answering a question. Take just a brief moment to think about your answer before responding. This will help you to collect your thoughts.

As you answer the questions, speak clearly and loudly. Oral communication is very important in law enforcement. One moment you may be chatting with the public, and the next moment you may be giving forceful verbal commands to a suspect. The panel is assessing your ability to communicate by what you say and how you say it. Speaking in a low tone of voice is not what they want to hear. Meek and mild are not the traits of a good police officer. You only get one chance to make a first impression. So, make a good one.

The panel will be writing throughout the interview. Do not let this bother you. Just because they are writing something down does not mean it is a negative comment. They may be noting your good qualities. They may simply be going through a checklist. You should be more concerned if they do not take any notes.

They should not ask you any questions concerning the law or their specific policies and procedures. You will be taught all of that at their training academy. They will usually begin the interview by verifying the information you provided to them. They will then begin to probe into your past to find out who you are. Lastly, they may ask you some hypothetical questions to judge your reasoning abilities.

2011-03-01T10:41:00.002+08:00

All i ever wanted, was closure.

Halfway there, Halfway Gone

2011-02-27T13:19:00.001+08:00

Almost there buddy. Don't give up now.

Hosanna

2011-02-27T10:52:00.001+08:00

I see the king of glory
Coming on the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes
The whole earth shakes

Yeeeah

I see his love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing
The people sing

[Chorus]
Hosanna
Hosanna
Hosanna in the highest [x2]

I see a generation
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith
With selfless faith

I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees
We're on our knees

[Chorus]

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to
Eternity

[Chorus x2]

Hosanna in the highest

Just Mail It

2011-02-27T08:50:00.001+08:00

She said just mail it. Simpler said than done. Courage oh sweet courage where are u!

Need You Now

2011-02-26T18:25:00.001+08:00

It's 2 people singing to each other.

The Code

2011-02-24T13:47:00.001+08:00

Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.

2011-02-22T22:43:00.002+08:00

If you have ever opened your mouth and mistakenly let the verbal contents within it spill out into the unsuspecting ears of another, and who of us hasn't, let me take this opportunity to welcome you to humanity. Come in and grab a seat. We were just getting started on this subject.

Some things are better left unsaid- simply because they are things that will never be forgotten- even if they are forgiven. Some words can cut like a knife through a person's heart, and wound them permanently. Words can leave small scars on a person's heart, or, large gaping wounds that continue to fester over time- the kind of wound that never heals. Sounds a bit dramatic, doesn't it?

The old saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." is a myth.

Words can and does hurt. Sometimes the hurt will last only a few moments; a few days, a few weeks. Then there are things that stick with a person for a lifetime and continue to hurt and feel like 'fresh' wounds all over again every time he or she thinks about it. Its like Syafiq choosing Dee over Robyn. It hurt bad, but its ok, i forgive and forget ( :

Think back to whenever you were a child, did you over-hear something or was something said to you that just hurt so badly it was as bad as a physical blow? I know I did. It has taken me many years to deal with the hurt and be able to forgive years of verbal abuse. Notice I said "deal" with the hurt- Some things said will never go away or be forgotten, and they still hurt- twenty years later.

The problem with saying just whatever comes to mind or something that just "slips out", is that words can negatively impact a person's emotional well-being, self-esteem and their self-worth. I don't believe it is ever a good idea to speak out of raw anger or frustration, because you can wound someone deeply- even if that wasn't your original intent.

Don't say things without thinking- don't say things you know are going to hurt another. SOme things are best kept to the very grave of your heart or mind.

We all get frustrated, aggravated, and we lash out in anger when we are hurt or disappointed. Being aware of your emotions and your responses to what you are feeling is an important step in avoiding saying things that should never have been said at all. If a situation gets too heated- it's best to step back, exit the room and then reapproach the topic once both parties are calm.

If there's something you feel needs to be said to someone, then try to say it in the least hurtful way possible. Possibly preface it with "I truly don't want to hurt you, and please let me know if I do..." Keep lines of communication open, and be gentle and tender in your words.

Once words have been spoken, you can't take them back. Are your words loving and kind, even under stress?

Hmm, took me a while to compose this, hope you take some time, take deep breathes and go through this post slowly to catch the message!

-R

Trying

2011-02-22T20:45:00.002+08:00

I dont even know if im allowed to type this out here.not that im not the rightful half-owner of this blog or anything,but my conscience is hitting me hard,begging me not to let it out.but if not here,where else?twitter and facebook?that is equivalent to suicide.

So,ultimately i asked and begged to know din't i?i guess the saying curiosity kills the cat is quite true after all.not that it killed me literally,but yeah my ego and pride was deflated.self esteem?i dont think i even need to get started on that.and so it seems.i guess i was trying right from the start.maybe too hard at times i dont know.maybe some things are just not meant to be?gosh,its really hard trying to write something without being too obvious.(and the song playing currently is just adding to the depressing mood.gahh)

the whole point is,im still trying.and i dont think this process of trying is gonna end anytime soon.how i wish someone would just come up to me and say that trying is constant,and it will last through out one's lifetime.i know somewhere deep inside me,that its not wrong to try.its never wrong to try.but yeah,i guess i still havent come to terms with alot of things in life yet.i havent manage to really quite grasp certain aspects of my life which is evolving.i dont noe.im just trying not to be bothered.sigh.

Whatever It Takes

2011-02-22T12:39:00.001+08:00

I've been lying here for like a million years in my bed
Get up get up get up
All the time I can hear you talking in my head
Shut up shut up shut up

Everybody says I should be moving on
Everybody knows I'm still waiting

I don't care whatever it takes to be with you
Your under my skin and no matter what I do
I'm nothing without you so I'll do whatever it takes

I've been thinking about how we could have done things differently
Give up give up give up
Yesterday i could have sworn I heard you calling me
Wake up wake up wake up

Everybody says baby life goes on
Everybody knows I'm still waiting

I don't care whatever it takes to be with you
Your under my skin and no matter what I do
I'm nothing without you so I'll do whatever

I'll do whatever it takes
Nothing will stand in my way
We had it good
I want it back
I know your feeling the same
And I'll do whatever it takes

I don't care whatever it takes to be with you
Your under my skin and no matter what i do
I'm nothing without you
I have to be with you
So I'll do whatever it takes

whats up?

2011-02-19T17:55:00.002+08:00

As much as i try not to think about it,i just cant help but to include you in my future plans.sorry.

and rob,cheer up kay!dont let the interview bring you down.you're still a great guy.

Happy Valentine's Day Syafiq and Diyana!

2011-02-14T01:30:00.001+08:00

Ok

2011-02-12T21:36:00.001+08:00

Everything's gonna be ok, it's ok, it's ok..

Probably the most common method to comfort someone.

Expectation vs Reality

2011-02-11T18:03:00.001+08:00

True enough, I really don't know. The last few days dude, please, no regrets no matter what.

2011-02-11T05:24:00.001+08:00

Coincidentally

2011-02-09T23:56:00.001+08:00

It was a coincidence. Pure coincidence.

Sad ):

2011-02-08T18:31:00.001+08:00

This made her emotional. I swear I saw tears.

):

2011-02-08T08:49:00.001+08:00

It should be definite, why know?

Weirdo

2011-02-07T20:58:00.001+08:00

Weirdo, please make up your mind. There's no point clinging on, kecewa yourself only.

Listening for Love

2011-02-03T22:54:00.001+08:00

By Jayne Fisher

There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words �I love you�. So we try to communicate the idea in other words. We say �take care� or �don�t drive too fast� or �be good�.

But really, these are just other ways of saying �I love you�. �You are important to me�, �I care what happens to you, and �I don�t want you to get hurt� all mean �I love you�. We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don�t say. And yet because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.

Therefore, I believe we have to listen for love in the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult carries more affection and love within the sentiments, which are expressed insincerely. An impulsive hug says �I love you� even though the words might be saying something very different.

Any expression of a person�s concern for another says �I love you�. Sometimes the expression is clumsy, sometimes even cruel. Sometimes we must look and listen very intently for the love that it contains.

We say �I love you� in many ways - with birthday gifts, and little notes, with smiles and sometimes with tears. Sometimes we show our love by just keeping quiet and not saying a word, at other times by speaking out, even harshly. We show our love sometimes by impulsiveness.

Many times we have to show our love by forgiving someone who has not listened to the love we have tried to express. The problem is listening for love is that we don�t always understand the language of love, which the other person is using. A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say, and her boyfriend may not understand her because he expects her to be talking his language.

We have to force ourselves to really listen for love. The problem with our world is that people rarely listen to each other. They hear the words, but they don�t listen to the actions that accompany the words or the expression on the face. Or people listen only for rejection or misunderstanding. They do not see the love that is there just beneath the surface, even if the words are angry.

Simon and Garfunkel wrote that very haunting song, The Sound of Silence . It goes: Ten thousand people, maybe more. People talking without speaking; people hearing without listening; people writing songs that voices never shared, because no one dared disturb the sound of silence... It is a terrifying picture of our modern world, a world without communication and without love.

We have to listen for love in those around us. If we listen intently we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realise.
Just listen!

Never

2011-02-03T22:48:00.001+08:00

I never forget.

And I confess..

2011-02-01T23:32:00.001+08:00

And I confess, I’m messed up.

No one, and I mean, no one…

Absolutely.

You probably have no idea..You have no idea..

The idea of pouring everything out is..unattractive..

I’ll cry. The only time I cried in public was after Marley & Me during my class chalet.

Just another manic Monday.

2011-02-01T11:58:00.001+08:00

I dreamt again; of you. This time, it was much sweeter.

In psychology, they would call this unresolved subconscious.

Rain, oh Rain.

2011-01-30T16:11:00.001+08:00

Dear Rain,

Let me start this off by saying that I still love you. I love falling asleep to the sound of you, and I love the way you feel on a warm humid day. But lately, I feel as if you've been smothering me a little bit, and I think we need to take a break. You've been here for what seems like a whole weekend now, with no break in sight, and frankly it's getting a little…wet.

You're choking out the sunshine in my life, and it makes it harder and harder to get through my day. On those days when I know I should be doing my homework, you're so cold that all I want to do is stay in bed, hug my soft toys and eat something fattening, or curl into bed while you drone on and on. You make everyday tasks so incredibly difficult--just getting to and from school is a time-consuming challenge, what with everyone on the road suddenly going about 30/mph slower than normal, and driving all over the road. Is it because you like all the attention?

So listen. Let's just do a trial separation here. I think even a week of distance between us would do everyone a world of good. You could go, I don't know, find someone who will appreciate your unique talents a little more than me, like a farmer or someone, who could really use your attentions. Because honestly, I don't need you hanging around right now, making things a little greyer and damper than they strictly need to be. You can still come by from time to time, in fact I'd really like to see you on a less-intense basis. But for now, I have things to do, like hang out my laundry. Let's just end this as cordially as possible. Maybe we can talk sometime next week for a little while; just not that weekend, I'm going camping. And you're not invited. Sorry.

Sincerely,

Robyn

http://open.salon.com/blog/shimmershadow/2010/03/30/dear_rain_a_breakup_letter_to_the_weather

You.

2011-01-29T23:53:00.001+08:00

Here I am pacing around this house again
With pictures of us living on these walls
I see my breath in the cold of the air that I breathe and I'm wondering
I'm wondering if it's you that I feel
If it's you that I feel here haunting me forever
I have been searching for traces of what we were
A ghost of you is all that I have left
It's all that I have left of you to hold
I wake in the night to find there's no one there but me
And nothing left of what we were at all
And I'm not looking for anything but us
Anything but what we were
And I'm not asking for painted memories
I only want to know you're here.

2011-01-29T09:03:00.001+08:00

I dream of you. I dreamt of happier times. I woke up. It was just a dream.

FML

2011-01-28T21:36:00.002+08:00

Maybe all i need is some time to myself all alone.period of time is undefined though.i should just lock myself up in my room.play and slack until i drop dead.until i fking get sick of them.maybe only then ill wake up from this slumber mess.God i really need your help.i've sidetracked too far beyond the course im supposed to be on.too damn fking far.gosh.

2011

2011-01-26T22:33:00.001+08:00

There’s just something about starting fresh that puts a spring in your step and gives you a renewed sense of purpose. It’s either that, or the fact that it’s going to get up to 21 today.

It’s too early to tell!

I’ll try not to look back at 2010 to try to figure out what I did right/wrong or what happened. It’s just…to hard on the brain and painful for the heart. Instead, I’ll tell you what I’m planning NOT to do this year.

1) GET MARRIED (It’s too soon!)

2) Not get into a relationship. (awww, come on Cupid, it’s been 20 years..point that bow at me this year?)

3) Turn 20! (GAH, 21 years old, I’m officially an adult)

That’s it!

3 years.

2011-01-26T20:51:00.001+08:00

Robyn Cheng King didn’t manage to attain the social niche he desired while at Temasek Polytechnic. This story highlights the tribulations of polytechnic life, social acceptance, relationships nurtured, held and lost, deceit and social envy, all while depicting this one boy, in a big, modern city that is Singapore.

2011-01-26T15:29:00.000+08:00

These bad days of total indiscipline has to go away,really.its gonna cost me my grades reputation life everything sooner or later.sigh.God help me.

2011-01-10T22:57:00.001+08:00

School of Applied Physics.

But I’m not Dr Sheldon Cooper. I’m not intelligent enough to major in Physics.

Nanyang Business School.

My GPA gives me a 15:100 chance of admission.

NUS Medical Faculty

My GPA + < $$$ + admission

SMU School of Business

My GPA + admission

zzzzzz, epic fail to study.