Yess,i'd expect that the letter would come one day. It had to. But i din't expect to feel this way. I'm lost for words,i cant explain myself. Suddenly i feel all vexed and worried. There's so much things running through my mind to the point that i just don't know what i want, which do i need to prioritize and whether im gonna make the right decision. Some part of me is scared,afraid, but not cos of NS, but rather the phase of life that im about to go through.
For a long time now,two choices have been playing on my mind,scdf or spf. I really dont know which to go for. And when you're in such a predicament, everyone tells you to ask and pray for guidance from God. Getting this letter, according to my mom is an answer itself from God. But is it really? I dont know.sigh.
I just want whats best for me,but at the same time something that benefits my family. Although id prioritize the latter than the former,im just hoping the move i make wont be a wrong wrong move for me. The only way to make myself feel better is repeating what my superior said earlier today. Theres no wrong decision, you choose to make the decision right or wrong. But but. . .
And oh yeah,fuck this ego. Im really afraid of losing you too. I just hope whatever i choose wont strain our relationship. Im just afraid,cant explain why.
